Sunday, December 28, 2008

Another Reason to Hate the J-E-T-S, Jets Jets Jets

So what just happened? We had to root for Mangina and the Jets? What a bizarre season...we all know the obvious set of facts. The Pats tried to bounce back from the biggest upset in Super Bowl history and it didn't look pretty from the start. Brady going down Week 1 against the lowly Chiefs was not a good sign. Obviously Brady was a biggie considering he, well, only won 3 Super Bowls and his backup, Matt Cassel hadn't started a game since high school.

But I digress...the Pats suffered through some other major setbacks such as Maroney not remembering how to run then being placed on IR, Rodney Harrison, Adalius Thomas, Tedy Brushi, Richard Seymour, Lamont Jordan and the list goes on and on. With all that the Pats also had one of the worst secondaries in the NFL yet they somehow managed to win 11 games (yes I know we beat 0 good teams). Then it came down to rooting for the Jets to actually pull out a win at home against the Dolphins. Grandpa Favre really earned his money tonight. Dishing out three picks and just really shitting the bed down the stretch. The Jets ended the season losing 4 of 5 to the likes of Denver, SF and Seattle!?!? Yeah that's the team we were rooting for tonight.

On top of that it's almost impossible to root for Favre this season. I swallowed my own vomit every time I had to listen to Tony Kornheiser give Favre a reach around on TV. "This guy brings an identity to this team, he's a gun slinger, a real gambler and he's going to improve this team...and I want him inside me." Listen Kornheiser, take your fuckin' bullshit elsewhere. I'm so sick of having to listen to him. What big shot at ESPN thought he was the guy to help with MNF ratings?

Anyways, I started looking at NFL Mock Drafts now that the Pats will not be heading to the playoffs and in all honesty we really could use some help. Who knows what Belichick is gonna do. He's the master of trading down in the first round to compile extra picks and future first rounders but this team needs some serious help in the secondary, offensive line, running back and QB since Cassel is probably gone. Kevin O'Connell anyone?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

'American Taliban' Pleads for Mercy

The parents of American-born Taliban fighter John Walker Lindh today pleaded with President George W. Bush to set their son free before he leaves office next month.

Here's my favorite part of the article:

At a news conference in San Francisco, Lindh's mother Marilyn Walker asked the president to show mercy during the Christmas season by commuting her son's sentence.

"John made a mistake in joining the Taliban," she said.

Now that's just too funny. Joining the Taliban isn't an excusable mistake. The dude was actually a fighting member of the Taliban!?!? It's not like he was walking around campus wearing a Che shirt talking about how great Socialism is...he actually fought against the US as a member of the Taliban.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

What are you Looking at Dicknose?

We all laughed and made jokes earlier this year when Chad Johnson was allegedly trying to change his name to "Ocho Cinco," but Tampa Bay DE Greg White is taking things to the next level.

White doesn't think Greg is such a memorable name so he's going with Stylez G. White. Why you ask?

"You can always remember Stylez White," White said. "Greg White, nobody knows Greg White."

So what inspired this name change Greg?

White is taking his new name from Jerry Levine's character in Teen Wolf named Rupert “Stiles” Stilinski (pictured above), who is Scott Howard’s (Michael J. Fox) best friend.

White has just 3.5 sacks this season and has yet to force a fumble. Not sure the name change will increase the sack totals but it should do wonders for the What are you Looking at Dicknose shirts.

Where's the Love for Perk?

Recently the national and local media has been showering Rajon Rondo with praise and while Rondo is deserving the media is a little late to the party. ESPN is even getting rid of the Big Three title for the Celts and is starting to call them the Fantastic Four, after Rondo led the Celtics to a 100-91 victory over the Utah Jazz. (By the way Gold Medalist Michael Phelps was in the house with Jared from Subway which seals the deal of Phelps' douchebaggery). Well where does that leave our favorite scowling and fouling machine, Kendrick Perkins?

Perk recently turned 24 earlier this season and he has come a long way from his rookie year. While I don't think Perk will make the All-Star team (I do think KG, Pierce, Allen and Rondo will and should) I think the media is seriously underestimating his contribution to the team and the fact that he's a borderline All-Star this season.

At the game last night my father and I started breaking down which Centers in the East would make it over Perk. The only Center we both agreed on of course was Dwight Howard. After Howard there are a handful of Centers with greater name appeal but statistically speaking they're all pretty even and if winning helps then Perk should get the nod. Let's take a look at the numbers heading into last night's game:

Okafor: 12.5 ppg 10.9 rpg 1.7 bpg
Horford 11 8 and 1.6
Ilgauskas 14.8 7.6 and 1.2
Jermaine O'Neal 12.6 7.6 and 1.7

Perkins 8.2 8.1 and 1.8

While Perkins doesn't seem to have the scoring numbers as these guys do he's right there in rebounds and blocks. Plus last night he had 15 points, 14 rebounds and controlled the first quarter for the C's.

I love Rondo but c'mon let's show Perk some love.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Yankees Finally Land Their Man

CC Sabathia and the Yankees have finally reached a preliminary agreement according to ESPN. The deal is not the same as the Yanks original offer of six years for $140 million, but for a record seven year $160 million so what took CC so long? According to Jayson Stark right now on ESPN Sabathia had to convince himself that New York was the place for him. For $160 million I'd be pitching in Islamabad. I'm not sure NY fans will be too pleased that it took Sabathia an extra year and $20 million to "convince" him NY was the place for him for the next seven seasons.

Sabathia coming off a CY Young season in 2007 with the Indians was dealt to the Brewers before the trade deadline last season. With the Brewers he was nothing short of amazing going 11-2 with a 1.65 ERA, carrying the Brewers into their first playoff appearance since 1982. Sabathia has posted a career record of 117-73 and a 3.66 ERA in eight big league seasons.

The Yankees landed the ace they've been looking for as they head into their new stadium and now CC will join Wang and most likely Chamberlain in the starting rotation. Peter Gammons right now is saying he strongly believes AJ Burnett goes to the Braves and that the Yanks seem to be focusing on Derek Lowe and or Ben Sheets. Gammons is also reporting that the Yanks Ian Kennedy is having a strong winter and should be a part of their rotation.

Just another reason to hate the Yankees. Should be a fun year between the Sox, Rays and Yankees.

MILF TV...

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Monday, December 8, 2008

Another Year Another Loss for the Superfans

This was not the scene on Saturday when BC once again proved that their "Superfans" are nothing more than Superfrauds and I enjoyed every moment of it. In fact when BC lost I jizzed in my pants. I was in Montreal this weekend for my Bachelor party and the nine of us spent Saturday afternoon watching some college football at Dundees. All of us were rooting for BC to once again blow it in the ACC Championship game and sure enough we all got our wish. BC probably had about 20 fans in Tampa as they were manhandled (lost 30-12) by a mediocre Virgina Tech squad who BC beat at home earlier in the season. I don't know how BC stays this competitive every year but I think it's almost funnier that their season always ends the same way. The team puts itself in position (beating up on a cupcake non-conference schedule) to get to a BCS game and every year they blow it.

Now the fags (and I don't mean Film Actor's Guild) are on their way to the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl. Vandy finished 6th in the SEC and will probably lose to the Eagles. But again, it's what BC does every year. Blow the important game and end up winning a crappy Bowl vs mediocre competition. It made my night that much better.

Here's more on my hatred for BC and their Superfans.

Jizz In My Pants...

No I'm not talking about my recent trip up to Montreal this past weekend although I can't say the same for some of my buddies who CAME (see what I did there with the play on words?) for the weekend as well. Samberg's latest video is absolutely hysterical. "Last week I saw a film as I recall it was a horror film." While I love this song and the Hot Rod star, but is Samberg becoming this generation's Weird Al Yankovic?

Click here to Jizz....in your pants.

Click here to watch Samberg's Cool Beans clip from Hot Rod.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Where Are They Now...

Who didn't love the hit show Family Matters following the Winslow family and their geeky neighbor Steven "Steve" Quincy Urkel. Well tonight I was grabbing a few beers with Maru and her co-worker Dave and somehow we started talking about Carl and Eddie Winslow. Once Eddie's name was mentioned we both immediately started talking about the great Waldo Geraldo Faldo.

I figured it might be interesting to check him out on imdb to see what he's been up to since Family Matters sadly came to an end and I was a bit saddened by his lack of work. Honeslty someone needs to hire this dude.

Thirty-five year-old Shawn Harrison was featured in one episode of Moesha, one episode of Eve, six episodes of Girlfriends and twelve episode of a show I've never even heard of League of Super Heroes.

Let's dig a little further...I would imagine these are from relatives but there were some threads discussing his work on his imdb page.

Very excited to read that Shawn has a new series for the CW network as the voice of Timber Wolf in the animated series "Legion of Super Heroes." Also, just saw him on the E network show being interviewed, "Child Star Confidential" and came off with such charisma! Can't wait to see more of him.

He was so fun to watch as 'Peaches' on Girlfriends. Tres funny.

You know, it's going to be very interesting to see how Shawn does in voice acting, as his fellow Family Matters cast members has done very well in voice acting in the past (examples: Jaleel White in The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog, JoMarie Payton in The Proud Family, and Darius McCrary in the recent Transformers movie).

You forgot Bumper Robinson the guy who play Danial Wallace. He's played many cartoon roles over the years.

Haha who on Earth are these people that they know this much about Harrison's career and those of his former co-stars from Family Matters?!?!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Reebok Gets Rondo'd

Third-year Celtics PG Rajon Rondo may look like Starvin' Marvin, but the former star of Reebok's You Got Rondo'd campaign is jumping ship and heading to Nike. Click here to read the article.

In the meantime Rondo is a star on the rise and if the C's continue to win he might even find himself on the All Star team this season. In the C's dismantling of the Pacers tonight (yes the same Pacers who somehow earlier beat the C's and the Lakers last night) Rondo notched a career high 17 assists and his first career triple double. Heading into tonight's action the former Kentucky star was tied with Chauncey Billups for 8th in the NBA averaging 7.2 assists/game. Rondo was also 4th in league with 2.16 steals/game and added three more tonight.

The C's are on a roll, winners of 10 straight, and now own an NBA-best 18-2 record with an intriguiging showdown this Friday looming against Portland (14-6).

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

ET Phone Home

Last night during the Celtics blowout win over the banged-up Magic Sam "ET" Cassell was tossed in the first half. Why did the C's even bring the alien back on board this season. Cassell was a mess in the playoffs last season and at 39 how much more does he have to give. Last year while I was still gainfully employed I had the chance to speak with Celtics legend Tom "Satch" Sanders (bow tie and all) and he had nothing good to say about Cassell which was pretty funny to hear right after the C's won the title.

Cassell hasn't logged a minute in a game this season yet he's picked up 2 T's. Maybe Perk should just pay Cassell to pick up technicals for him.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Jewish Girl Messes With Italian Sausage and Parents

It might be 2008 but many Jewish parents still don't want their kids dating goyim let alone some Italian guy who vacations on the Jersey shore. Anyways little Jappy Julie decided to prank her parents and give her mother a bad case of diarrhea for the day (only remedy for that is to choke on my matzoh balls). Click here to listen to the shenanigans.

Thanks to Pratter for sending this along.